Holiday's are very difficult for me as 99% of the time I spend them alone and I reflect on what I am missing out on. Christmas Eve I usually take my dogs for a walk around town, listening to the snow crunch underfoot and hearing the tinkle of church bells tolling in the distance while I peer into the windows of the houses I pass by wishing I had family gatherings and loving people surrounding me. Reality is, I don't.
Joy = opening my kiln each morning
Peace = no longer being in a abusive relationship
Happiness = waking up each morning
That about sums it up for me.
I don't enjoy this season either... Sometimes your Joy is my Joy but often when I open my kiln it's what was I thinking! I have a houseful of clocks... not sure what that indicates! Love yours!
ReplyDeleteI was going to write about this clock. My grandparents always had a mantle clock and when they passed I was living far far away and my brother handled the estate. All I would like to have received was their clock. He kept what he wanted and sold everything else. I got nothing. So last year I bought myself this lovely old mantle clock for Christmas. And I often "reflect" about my Grandparents when it's chiming. Interestingly, I just got my clock back yesterday. It stopped chiming and had to be repaired.
ReplyDeleteWhat you expressed in your post is exactly what my brother-in-law was telling me in my post. We need to reflect on what others are feeling and going through as well as taking the time to reflect on ourselves. I'm glad you're no longer in an abusive relationship and admire you for having the strength to rise above that - it says so much. As for the clock, I'm glad you found a way to reflect on your Grandparents and connect to them, even though it' not their actual clock. Sometimes things like this have a way of bringing us closer to our inner selves. I wish you warmth and light through this entire holiday season and into the New Year - know there's those of us who will be thinking of you and wishing you happiness and love! (Great photo too, by the way!)
ReplyDeleteHi Donna, what a powerful post. It seems your strength has enabled you to make changes that many people never find the will to do. It sounds difficult to be alone but your first step of choosing solitude to a damaging relationship is such a healthy one. I think many share your loneliness, even when surrounded by a crowd of people. Some of this anguish must come through in your artistic gifts because your work is amazing!
ReplyDeleteThank you Paula. It's been more than 5 years now...thank god I have my dogs and My. Boo...
DeleteDonna, I too share your "aloneness" at Christmas (and Thanksgiving)...what a great post. My family and friends are spread across North America and I see them irregularly and seldom...which does make for quiet and reflective celebrations. Nonetheless, they ARE celebrations, as I am in much the same situation as you...although probably more than 20 years further down that road. Congratulations on your strength, AND your ability to see the positive.
ReplyDeletePS Very happy you have your clock!
ReplyDeleteAhhh, LoriF, I'm pushing 60! Not such a young chic anymore. Thanks for the comments. And, btw, I still make Christmas cookies, the nice thing about being alone is I get to eat them all myself! lol.
ReplyDeleteWhen you can look beyond the things that you regret, and enjoy the present, as you seem to be exploring, you are on your way to peace and contentment.
ReplyDeleteAhhh, but I don't regret a thing. :)
DeleteDonna You are such a strong woman.It is better to be alone than in an abusive relationship. I speak from experience too. I'm glad that you got your clock. I hope you find peace and contentment.
ReplyDeleteSad that so many of us have this "experience". I might appear to be strong but inside, I'm just dying. It's so difficult having no family save one person. I want to fall in love again so bad but it's doubtful that will ever happen. Thanks for the well wishes. Same goes out to you.
DeleteDonna your clock so reminds me of my pencil. I hope each time you hears its chime you will realize you are not so alone. God Bless.
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